My oldest children are 16 months apart, which if you can believe was completely planned (my mother had my sister and me 14 months apart- and I wanted to have mine close together too.) I got pregnant shortly after my first with my second. One thing I realized during my first pregnancy was the difficulty of being able to make it to prenatal appointments while working full time. Most of my physician colleagues didn't have adequate prenatal care- especially my Ob Gyn colleagues. Perhaps we thought we knew too much. I scheduled most of my prenatal appointments during my first pregnancy after 24 hour calls (on my postcall day), which was difficult. We realized with COVID19 the need to be closer to family to help with raising our children and we decided we would eventually need to move to Virginia. So during my second pregnancy, I started off seeing my Ob Gyn colleague in the same clinic I worked in to make things easy and spend more time with my daughter at home on my postcall days. The COVID19 pandemic was still in its peak, but my husband and I threw my daughters first birthday party combined with a gender reveal (#2 was going to be a boy!) in the park outdoors with close friends.
I loved our birth center that we used for Anandi. I also loved our hypnobirthing instructor from our prior pregnancy. She really helped me relax and realize my negative thinking was at the core of how my birth experience was going to be (We are what we think as much as we are what we eat.) I was so relaxed in fact, that I napped shortly before pushing during my first natural childbirth. My pregnancy with my son was different because I was nursing my daughter for the first part of the pregnancy until my milk finally dried up from both the hormonal changes of my second pregnancy and working fulltime. I always imagined that my daughter would be one of the first people to meet her little brother, who she was about to spend the rest of her life alongside. I knew for family to be close by in the COVID19 world we would be birthing outside of a hospital setting again.
With my first pregnancy, I worked until I was 39 weeks pregnant to maximize my time off with my daughter. I knew the 3 months I had off was still not enough time to get established with her. I knew I would need more time with two children. So with my second pregnancy, I decided to take off work starting at 36 weeks, and I wasn't sure when I would feel ready to go back to work...
Before moving to Virginia, I researched some options nearby and felt drawn to a nurse midwife with decades of experience who was present exclusively for women desiring homebirths. She had a backup Ob Gyn in case of hospital transfer and was highly competent and caring. I had a hard time telling my close colleagues about my decision to have a homebirth because of the negative attitude surrounding homebirths in the medical community. I needed to be in a supportive and positive pregnancy environment so I kept my birthing choice secret.
One day after my estimated due date, my labor started at night. The contractions were strong about 5 minutes apart. I tried to rest through them but I couldn't. I took a shower to try to relieve some of the discomfort and checked my own cervical dilation (yes I did this with my first as well...). I called my CNM to give her an update and she started packing up getting ready to come be with me. (Midwife means "with woman" and out of hospital midwives enjoy being present throughout labor). I labored for a while and had a warm bath. Labor pains are relieved with the warm water and some refer to soaking in the tub during labor as an "aqua-dural." During the transition time before I was ready to push, I told my CNM I needed to rest. I slept in the tub with my husband, mother and CNM watching me. This "laboring down" was also what I had done with my first pregnancy, I was still contracting regularly. After some time, my CNM recommended we start pushing. My daughter was napping at this time in another room with family. I got on the Dutch birthing stool that my CNM brought to the house and pushed for just a few contractions (12 minutes). My son was born at 10:10am weighing 8 pounds, 5 ounces after laboring all night. After all the deliveries I have done in my career, I've never had anyone tell me that they loved me after catching their child. But I felt such a strong connection to my CNM that I kept telling her I loved her - and I still do! We didn't clamp the cord until after the placenta delivered. My CNM gave me IM Pitocin to help with uterine tone and then started a warm herbal bath for me to recover in. She was present for hours after the birth to make sure all was well with nursing my second baby. She checked in on me throughout the postpartum period and before our standard postpartum visit. One thing my homebirth CNM would tell me is that healthy moms have healthy babies. I truly believe this. With 1 hour prenatal visits, prevention is truly obtained and maternal wellness is optimized to prepare for a healthy birth.
"Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing."
"It's difficult, but far from impossible and we smile more than we cry."
"One child does not a mother make."
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